they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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