Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
