Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
