I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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