I think my fart just growled at me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize