They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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