So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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