I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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