he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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