Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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