ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Terrible idea I love it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
