btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
