i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
