Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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