Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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