Your tits are I can't wait for
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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