nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
