found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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