im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
