dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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