White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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