im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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