If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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