I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
