thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
