'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
