took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
