Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize