I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Vodka?
Forever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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