If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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