Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
