If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
