Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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