I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize