I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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