Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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