yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
