D3 body, D1 cock
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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