Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
