She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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