He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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