I hate all girls vehemently.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
