I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
