just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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