What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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