yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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