I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
