How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
