I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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