i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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