When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
