I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
