I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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