People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
