just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
