So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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