You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
