Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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