If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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