listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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