Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
