Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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