I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
