I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
